


Apologies and Dinner

by TrekChik



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Boys Kissing, Catholic Guilt, Hand Jobs, M/M, Mending Relationships, but he's come to apologize, episcopals ftw, little bit of porn, priest!bucky, steve hurt bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-02-01 02:04:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21327589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrekChik/pseuds/TrekChik
Summary: Father Barnes is just finishing up the week's sermon when there's a knock at the door. He didn't expect it to be the person who hurt him the most.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Kudos: 76





	Apologies and Dinner

Father James Barnes sits in his office going over Sunday’s sermon. He’s fairly certain it’s finished, but he wants to go over it just one more time to be sure. He wishes that he had someone to read it over for him. 

Once through it, he closes his laptop, takes off his readers and pinches his nose. Why this sermon was difficult this week, he’s not sure. Maybe it has to do with the current political climate and the fact that his parishioners, just like the rest of the country, are sharply divided on the issues and he’s tired of trying to bring them together. 

Not that he’s going to stop trying, just that he’s tired. He sighs and stands to leave. He figures that his sermon is as good as it’s going to get. As he’s reaching for his jacket, there’s a soft knock on his door. He selfishly hopes it’s just his secretary and not someone who needs to talk. He’s been at the computer all morning, and he ignored the clock as lunch ticked by. 

“Come in,” he says absently. 

“Hey, Buck.”

Father Barnes sucks in a breath. He hasn’t been called Bucky in almost a year by anyone other than his sister. And the only person with enough gall to do it was “Steve.”

Steve Rogers stands there looking better than he has any right to be. His shirt is easily two sizes too small for his muscular frame, and his jeans hug his thighs just right. James does his best not to stare, but he’s pretty sure it’s a losing game. 

“Got a minute?” Steve asks. “I’m having a bit of a crisis.”

And if that isn’t a kick in the head. Part of the reason they’re not together right now is because Steve was having a bit of a crisis. But that’s apparently what happens when you’re gay and Catholic. 

“Of course you are,” James says bitterly. 

“Bucky, come on. That’s not fair.”

“Isn’t it, though? You left me, Steve. You. Left. Me. Not the other way around.” 

Steve enters the room and closes the door behind him. “Do you know how hard that was for me to do? I couldn’t just abandon my faith like that.” 

“But you abandoned me just fine.” James feels tears prick at the corners of his eyes. Why here? Why now? “What do you want, Steve?”

Steve steps forward and comes around the desk so that he’s right in front of James. His hand trails down his arm and he takes James’s hand in his. “I came to apologize. I was wrong, Buck. I was so wrong. About everything.” 

James’s head swims. Steve is apologizing to him and admitting he was wrong. God, it’s everything he ever wanted. A year ago. After Steve left him an absolute wreck. And now here he is, standing in front of him, touching him again, and James isn’t sure he can resist. 

He swallows thickly, and does his best not to meet Steve’s eyes. “What do you mean you were wrong?” 

“I mean,” Steve says as he cups James’s cheek with his free hand, “that leaving you was wrong. I thought I could just swallow up who I was and be that good Catholic boy and go to confession once a week and ask for forgiveness of my sins and that it would all be okay. It wasn’t. I was miserable.”

Miserable. That’s good. So was he. 

“I realized that you were right. I started doing more research rather than just simply toe the company line, so to speak. I realized that you were right. About everything.”

“And what about your faith?”

“I-I left the church. I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t pretend that I’m something I’m not. Me being gay isn’t wrong. It isn’t a sin.” James looks at him and sees pain and maybe just some sincerity there. “You know, I talked to Father Wilson at St. Joseph’s. He really helped me see how I could reconcile being gay with my faith.”

James snorts. “And how did Sam make you see what I couldn’t?”

“I think we were too close. I couldn’t seem to believe you since I knew you wanted something that I wasn’t ready to give. Bucky, I still love you.”

_ Did he just -  _ He did, and James can feel his resolve begin to crack. For all the pain Steve Rogers caused him, Steve is the one that got away, and James has spent too many nights wondering  _ what if.  _ “Don’t you think you’re a little too late?” 

Steve nods. “I probably am. But I had to tell you. I had to take the chance.” His voice is soft and earnest and James can’t help but melt just a little more. 

He closes his eyes and leans into Steve’s hand while he squeezes the other. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to hear you say that?” 

“Does that mean -?” James opens his eyes to see Steve look so hopeful at him.

“No. But it’s a start.” 

“I’ll take it,” Steve says as he closes the gap between them to kiss him. 

James kisses him back as he wonders if this is the right thing to do. Steve hurt him. Badly. Should he take Steve back? Of course he will. Steve was everything to him. It’s going to take a lot of work on trust, but James already knows that Steve means what he says. 

James opens up and Steve’s tongue darts into his mouth. The kiss is tentative at first, after all it’s been a year since they’ve done this, but it quickly picks up, enough so that James has to pull back for a moment. He rests his forehead on Steve’s. 

“Are you sure?” James asks.”I can’t go through that again.”

Steve takes his face in his hands. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. You’re it, Buck. You’re everything I ever needed. I’m sorry I was too stubborn to see that.”

And with that, all of James’s resolve breaks. He practically dives into Steve’s mouth, pulling him as close as he can. His hands grip at Steve’s hips as he groans into Steve’s mouth. Steve grinds his hips into his and James has to pull away. 

“Door,” he manages to get out. “Lock the door.”

Steve pulls away from him and does so. “You sure about this, Buck?”

James nods and says “No.”

Steve steps back into his space. “We don’t have to do this. We can take it slow. Start over if you want.”

“That’s how we started last time. Maybe we need to just dive right in.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.”

And with that, all bets are off. They crash together, kissing desperately, the weight of a year being shed with each kiss. James reaches up to remove his collar and unbutton his shirt. He’ll be damned if he’s going to wait any longer for Steve Rogers. He tosses the collar on the desk.

He gets his shirt unbuttoned, and Steve slips it off his shoulders. James tries to take it off, but he’s forgotten to unbutton the cuffs and he laughs. Steve saves the day and unbuttons them, and the shirt falls to the floor, leaving James in just his t-shirt. 

They reach for each other’s shirts to get them off, but take the hint and they take off their own shirts, dropping them on the floor. 

“God, Bucky. You’re beautiful.”

“Shut up, Rogers,” James says, but he blushes to his roots. 

Steve runs his hands down James’s sides and he shivers at the touch. He’s missed this so much. He does the same to Steve who shudders in turn. 

The weight of what they’re about to do suddenly hits James. “Steve, are you sure? Are you really sure? Because I can’t do this again. Your leaving nearly killed me.”

“I promise I’m with you. ‘Til the end of the line.” 

And that’s exactly what James needed to hear, even if he’s not sure he believes it yet. He surges forward and kisses Steve with all the hurt and anger he felt for the past year. He’s got one hand on Steve’s hip, the other on his face as Steve wraps his arms around him. 

It doesn’t take long before kissing is not enough anymore and Steve fumbles for James’s belt. When the belt and James’s pants are undone, Steve sinks to his knees and takes him into his mouth, his hands grip James’s hips.

James lets a hand trail down to Steve’s head and he gently guides Steve’s ministrations. Another few licks up his cock and James is going to embarrass himself. “Steve.” 

Steve stops and looks up at James, and James is certain he’s going to get lost in those eyes forever. He hopes to God Steve means everything he’s said. 

Steve stands and must see the conflicted look on James’s face because he says, “Hey, you okay?”

Is he? He thinks so. “Yeah. Yeah, I am.” He leans in to kiss Steve once more. “I just can’t believe you’re here.” 

“Hey, hey. I’m here. And I’m staying here. With you. For as long as you’ll have me.” 

And there are those pin pricks in his eyes again. “I missed you so much.” 

“Me, too, baby.” He takes James’s cock in his hand and begins to stroke. “I don’t suppose you have any lube in that desk?”

James rolls his eyes as he unfastens Steve’s pants. “It’s a rectory, Steve, not my bedroom.” 

Steve moves to close what little distance was between them and he takes both their cocks in his hand, stroking them slowly. James wishes he did have some lube in his desk. Maybe he should tuck a small bottle in the top drawer if Steve is gonna - 

“Oh, fuck,” he says. “So good,” he pants into Steve’s mouth. “Missed this.”

Another few groans, and James is spilling over their hands, Steve only three strokes behind. They touch foreheads, panting, trying to catch their breath. 

A few seconds later, they’re startled by a knock on the door. 

“Father Barnes?” It’s his secretary. “I’m heading out for the day.”

“Thank you, Jane,” he manages to say without sounding like he just had the best orgasm he’s had in a year.

Steve looks like he’s about to bust out laughing, so James puts a hand over his mouth. He’s waiting for the telltale rattle of the closing door before he says anything else. Once it comes, he removes his hand from Steve’s mouth. “That was close.” 

Steve lets their cocks go and reaches for the box of tissues on James’s desk to clean them up. “Close, but amazing.” 

James takes a tissue and wipes his hands off. “For obvious reasons, we can’t do that in here ever again. I’ll be lucky if I can ever concentrate on another sermon after that.” He tosses the tissue and puts himself away. 

“I’m not sorry,” Steve says. “It was totally worth it.” He zips himself up and leans on the desk. He reaches out to James who slots himself between his legs. They kiss lazily. 

“Can I take you to dinner tonight, Buck?”

“No.”

“Oh. I just thought - “

“We’re ordering in.”


End file.
